You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
