just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
