I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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