I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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