I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
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My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
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She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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