What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
