He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize