Already got asked if we're dating
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
