hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
