I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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