How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I looked at my own cervix.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You have to summon your inner elephant
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
