And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
