yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
