Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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