Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We smell like vodka and hangover
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