I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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