the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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