True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
