and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
