He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
