he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize