god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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