How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize