We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
