You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This is the high leading the old right now
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
