We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
