I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
