If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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