U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
