You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
