Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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