Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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