So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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