No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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