I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Pooping to opera.
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