I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
