smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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