what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
