morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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