as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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