Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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