oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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