We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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