Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
