watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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