I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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