How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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