All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
