Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize