Kiss
Puke
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
