I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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