it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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