Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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