So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
