my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
