Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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