what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Your cock deserves a montage
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
