Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
