im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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