hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We got so high we made milksteak
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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