I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
