K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
