it was like eating out sand paper
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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