You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
